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You're about to spend the holidays with family who think "cybersecurity" means you hack into things for fun.
They're going to ask if you can fix their printer. They're going to want free consulting. Someone will definitely ask if you can "hack my ex's Instagram."
Here's how to survive.
When they ask: "Can you hack my neighbor's WiFi?"
- Bad answer: "That's illegal."
- Good answer: "Sure, but defending against federal computer fraud charges costs way more than a monthly internet plan."
When they say: "You work in cyber... can you fix my printer?"
- Bad answer: "That's not what I do."
- Good answer: "I specialize in preventing nation-state actors from stealing your data. But sure, let me look at your printer that won't connect to WiFi."
- (Spoiler: You will fix the printer. You will always fix the printer.)
When Aunt Martha asks: "Should I be worried about hackers?"
- Bad answer: Explain attack vectors, threat actors, and the current geopolitical threat landscape.
- Good answer: "Use a password manager and turn on two-factor authentication. You'll be fine."
- (She won't do either, but you tried.)
When your cousin wants free security consulting for their startup:
- Bad answer: Launch into a detailed security assessment.
- Good answer: "I'd love to help, but security assessments are literally my job. If you're serious about this, let's talk scope and budget on Monday."
- (They're never serious enough to follow up.)
When someone inevitably says: "I have nothing to hide, so I don't care about privacy."
- Bad answer: Lecture them about metadata, surveillance capitalism, and digital rights.
- Good answer: "Cool. What's your bank password?"
- (Watch them backpedal.)
When they ask what you actually do all day:
- Bad answer: Try to explain defense-in-depth, zero-trust architecture, and incident response procedures.
- Good answer: "I keep the bad guys away from your embarrassing photos... and also your bank account, medical records, and everything else you don't want leaked to the internet."
- (This usually satisfies them.)
The real survival tip?
Change the subject. Ask about their job. Compliment the food. Literally anything except trying to explain what CISSP, CISM, or defense-in-depth means to someone who still clicks "Unsubscribe" on phishing emails.
You've earned this break. Enjoy your holiday. We'll see you back here next week with more security content.
Happy holidays from everyone at DestCert.
Stay secure (and sane),
The DestCert Team
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